3.2. Handling Behaviours & Signals
When a student is expressing undesired behaviour, you need to consider how we will react to this behaviour and put the student’s behaviour into a bigger picture. To truly understand and make a difference, we need to set up a trusting relationship. Trust is something that needs to be earned and takes time to build up. You can’t force trust. When you have managed to build a trusting relationship with your student, you know better how to adjust your approach and how to address various issues. This will increase the chances of achieving positive and wanted outcomes. It is important to ask yourself, “How can I change attitudes and handle situations differently?” Self-reflection plays a crucial role in this process as you evaluate the responses and actions you give to student’s behaviour. Your reactions directly influence the attitude of the student involved.
For instance, if we approach a situation by being loud and shouting, it immediately puts students on the defensive. However, some students may require a more thorough and assertive communication style to understand their mistakes. This highlights the significance of getting to know our students better. Taking an interest in their lives outside of school, such as their hobbies and interests, and engaging in conversations about their weekends, helps build relationships, trust, rapport, and, most importantly, respect. Consequently, when we need to intervene and manage their behaviors, the process becomes calmer, more respectful, and more easily resolved, ideally leading to fewer issues in the future.
“Real life case”
Mr Nabaz Baki told the Dropping the Baggage-partnership how he had faced bullying at school, at his spare time and at home.
This made him act out to get some kind of attention. He told us that all he ever wanted was one educator to care enough about him to ask how he was doing, how things were at home and during my spare time. He felt very lonely and started to believe that nobody liked him:
His main tip to educators was: “Ask at least one student a day how they are feeling. Listen to them. Make them feel that you genuinely care. Make them trust you enough to tell you what is bother them so that you can help them overcome potential difficulties!”
Reflection is a key component in effectively dealing with issues and evaluating our management approaches. It is crucial to embrace vulnerability and acknowledge that we cannot handle every issue perfectly, nor do we always have the “right” answers. This is where learning from our peers becomes vital. To facilitate growth and improvement, consider asking the following questions when analyzing team issues and preparing for discussions beyond your department:
- Did we identify and address the issue in a timely manner?
- What was the underlying cause of the issue in this specific case?
- How did we respond to the issue?
- Did we gather and analyze all the relevant information?
- Did we involve the appropriate individuals or include enough perspectives?
- How did I/we personally react to the issue?
- What could I/we have done better in managing the situation?
- What changes will we make next time, and how can we create a SMART goal (action plan) based on this?
By becoming aware of and by consciously working on our attitudes and responses, we can create a more positive environment and achieve favorable outcomes. Building relationships, embracing vulnerability, and learning from our experiences contribute to our growth as effective problem solvers. Reflection is crucial when dealing with issues and managing them. Recognize that perfection is unattainable, and learning from our peers is invaluable.
A roleplay activity: Reactions and actions
Roleplay Activity: Select participants for the roles of student, teacher/mentor/coach, and observer.
Choose a challenging situation that you have encountered with a student or colleague, where the desired outcome was not achieved. The teacher and the student acting as the teacher will then reenact this situation while the observer observes.
Afterwards, each participant will share their observations, perceptions, and emotional responses to the situation.
Use questions such as ‘How did I/we personally respond to the issue?’ ‘What alternative approaches could I have taken to handle the situation?’ and ‘What changes can we make for future instances?’ to guide the discussion on the impact and potential improvements related to different actions taken.